Two simple rules (and their antecedents)

In the past couple of years, I started thinking more about how I wanted to live my life. The chronological order in which I adopted these guides is opposed to their importance.

1.   Don't get angry.

2.   Don't get annoyed.

These were the first two, which began as New Year's resolutions a while back.  I decided I didn't like how intemperate, even hot-headed, I could be, and wanted to end that.  Anger hurt me, and hurt those around me, and got me nothing.  I quickly discovered that annoyance almost always preceded anger, so I started to work on that too. 

It's not 100%, nothing is.  But my periods of anger and annoyance are fewer in number, and lesser in scope. 

3.  Don't let others tell me what to do.

Everybody wants to tell you what to do, and often they think they have a "right" to do so - especially politicians (the "nanny state" is not confined to the left), and some employers (although I have been lucky in the latter for some time with respect to individuals).  

Being told what to do is an annoyance (see rule #1).

4.   Don't tell others what to do.

Seems an obvious companion to rule #3, yes?  It didn't occur to me for months after I settled on #3 - and it doesn't appear to be obvious to too many other people either. It made being an American diplomat tough, as the US Government is fond of telling others what to do, and expects the Foreign Service to carry out those directions.  While in harness, I changed my approach, to advise my hosts on what the US wanted to happen,  to counsel them on what actions they could take to improve good governance at home, and what we could do to help them and how. After all, my interchangeable titles while overseas were "counselor" and "adviser" - not Proconsul. Results were actually better; persuasion is more effective than direction.